How many of us feel good about ourselves?
Once we can effort a small car, we look at the midsize SUVs waiting besides while the traffic signal is on. We always have a tend to have more, earn higher and look better. Even a top model compares him/herself with other models! As if, social comparison has become our essential contact lance to see everything or everybody through.
In this competitive society, self-esteem is playing a constant negative role to boost this comparison and also directing us away from our inner peace.
Self-esteem is a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value. It is the good feeling when we are successful in the way we find is important to us. If we say in other words, it’s like riding a trade mill of constant need of feeling better than others, so that we can feel good about ourselves.
Now the questions arise-
How can we reach our inner peace without evaluating of judging ourselves?
How can we really get the anxiety free and conflict less ourselves?
To me, the answer is, “Self –Compassion”.
Self-compassion is a combination of three things –
– Self-Kindness
– Common Humanity and
– Mindfulness
Self-Kindness – Relating ourselves kindly, blessing ourselves as we are. Using good words and practicing good thought about ourselves – not criticizing.
Common Humanity– Finding how I am same like others. Human means imperfections – and it is true for all – accept it.
Mindfulness– Being in present moment. Living every second. Observing each small things to feel large.
Yes, sometimes we may believe, criticism is self-motivation and if we are not criticizing ourselves and be soft or polite, we will become lazy. We will have less will to drive our dram.
But through experience, I slowly came to realize that; self-criticism is harmful. In fact, it makes the situation worse – it causes feeling of in security, starts blaming others, becomes more stressed and ends with frustration and then depression. Criticism is like a trap of treat defense system, the system to create fighting mindset. And in this stage of mind set, we are attracted by self-problem.
Again, if we just look at the nature, we notice a child who gets a positive feeling of confidence when the child stays close to mom, because they feel safe. Naturally, we tend to response to warmth, gentle tough and soft vocalization – and it release Oxytocin and Opiates hormone in our body which makes us to feel good.
Self-confidence is not selfishness. The more we are able to keep our heart toward ourselves; we are more able to give to others. Coz, when we are happy, we take more responsibilities and get happier life being connected with other interpersonal relationship.
Let’s be friend to ourselves, it’s easier than we think and it really could change OUR life.